Disability ministry in the preschool years has unique challenges and opportunities. As ministry leaders, we can be prepared to support children and encourage their parents during this important (and often stressful) time in their lives.
Early childhood diagnoses can fall into three categories: disabilities that are known in early childhood, emerging in early childhood, and invisible in early childhood. Here’s a list of common diagnoses and their category:
Known in Early Childhood
- Down syndrome
- Cerebral palsy
- Being deaf or blind
- Physical disabilities
Emerging in Early Childhood
- Autism
- Speech delays
- Delays in fine & gross motor skills
- Learning disabilities
- Sensory processing disorder
May Be Invisible in Early Childhood (but those with early childhood experience may see signs)
- Dyslexia
- ADHD
- Autism (especially in girls)
- Other behavioral & mental health diagnosis
As a ministry leader who works with many kids this age, you may see these signs in a child and recognize them as areas of concern before parents are aware. That was certainly true for my husband and me when our son James started showing signs of autism between the ages of 2 and 3. We first thought maybe he was just slow to talk because his big brother talked a lot, and he would be quieter. Then we realized (with the help of a friend who is an occupational therapist) that his motor skills were delayed as well. He even lost skills he had after his second birthday.
So the question here is: How do we, as ministry leaders, communicate our observations or concerns to the parents? I’m coming at it from multiple perspectives—a special needs mom whose son was diagnosed in the preschool years, a current disability ministry consultant who mainly works with children’s ministry leaders, and as a pastor’s wife.
We need to handle this with sensitivity and care, understanding our role. And our role isn’t to diagnose a disability. It’s to support all the kids in our ministry and their families. The question I tell ministry leaders to use when talking to parents is this: “We are seeing this behavior at church. Are you seeing it at home as well?” This is an invitation for that parent to trust you and be vulnerable. Some will be ready, and some won’t. You may get a quick nope. You may get a yes, but the parent doesn’t seem concerned about the behavior or is in denial. You may get a yes through tears because they see it too, and they don’t know what to do next. Whatever answer you get, follow their lead with kindness.
Your next step on Sunday mornings as the ministry leader doesn’t change based on their answer—it’s to put supports in place to meet the child’s needs (regardless of diagnosis). But if they answer, “Yes, we’re concerned as well,” or if a family comes to your church who is already in the process of getting a diagnosis for their child, there are three things they need from their church family. You have the opportunity to:
- Remind them of God’s love for them & their family.
- Show empathy for the struggles they are facing.
- Offer hope and help as they adjust to all the changes.
First, as we remind them of God’s love for them and their family, they need a theology of disability and suffering, they need grace as they rebuild their trust in God and His goodness, and they need solid, biblical resources. Here are the passages I start with:
- Exodus 4:10-12: The Lord said to him, “Who placed a mouth on humans? Who makes a person mute or deaf, seeing or blind? Is it not I, the Lord?
- Psalm 139:14: For you formed my inward parts, you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
- John 9:3: “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” Jesus answered. “This came about so that God’s works might be displayed in him.”
Second, show empathy:
- They are on a very different parenting journey than they expected.
- They don’t know all the answers.
- Each parent may be processing the news differently.
Third, offer hope and help:
- They may struggle to adjust to the new routines and demands.
- They need practical help or connections to organizations that provide that help.
- They may struggle with loneliness and jealousy.
Now that we’ve talked through how to support the parents, let’s look at what disability ministry looks like in the preschool years. The short answer is it mostly looks like inclusion in the typical preschool ministry with extra supports if needed. Because the gap between what typically developing preschool-aged kids can do and what preschool-aged kids with disabilities can do isn’t as wide as it will be as they grow older, in many of your preschool ministry classrooms, an inclusive approach will be best. You can add a buddy trained in how to support a specific kid if he or she does need extra help.
Even though inclusion with support is often the answer, it isn’t always the answer. At our church, we had a three year old start coming who had recently been diagnosed with autism. He was nonverbal and very uncomfortable in the regular classroom, which he communicated with vocalizations and aggressive behavior. So a specialized classroom was best for him as we got to know him and as he started therapies that have helped him adjust to new settings. Now we use a hybrid approach with him. He spends time with his same-aged peers in the typical class and he is in the sensory room for his lesson and if he gets stressed. We use curriculum from Truth78 in this class, which includes short lessons with big truths, like “God made everything” and “Jesus loves me.” This kiddo and his family are a huge blessing to our church. When he walks the halls with me or another one of his buddies, he’s known and loved. We want that same experience for every family in our preschool ministry and beyond.
As a preschool ministry leader or volunteer, you have the opportunity to walk with a family through what may be the most challenging season they have experienced. When you communicate with kindness and offer spiritual encouragement, you can be the anchor the family needs as they navigate a new normal.
